Practice to make a difference.

Why Can't My Child Behave? Empathic Parenting Strategies that Work for Adoptive and Foster Families

“Parenting a child who doesn't know how to be parented is the most difficult job in the world.”

Why Can't My Child Behave? Provides friendly expert advice on how to respond to difficult behaviours and emotions for parents of children with developmental trauma. Each chapter focusses on the common difficulties faced by carers or parents and features quick, applicable ideas with exercises and illustrations.

  • How do you react to a child's difficult behaviour?
  • How do you deal with your own negative emotions?
  • How do you know when to be empathic?

The book looks beyond the traditional punishment/reward strategies and aims to provide an explanation for such questions whilst helping the child in the process.

This book will prove to be an invaluable resource for parents, foster carers, social workers and professionals working with children who are adopted or fostered.


  • Foreword by Kim S. Golding.
  • 1. I've Tried Everything! Why Isn't It Working?
  • 2. The Importance of Carers' Emotions.
  • 3. Attention-Seeking Vs. Attachment-Seeking.
  • 4. The Red Mist.
  • 5. The Girl in a Bubble.
  • 6. The High Energy Child.
  • 7. Wrestling for Control.
  • 8. Lying.
  • 9. Sexualised Behaviour.
  • 10. Difficult Sibling Relationships.
  • References.
  • Index.

Author Bio:

Dr Amber Elliott has over ten years’ experience in the NHS and Local Authorities and is the Director and Lead Clinician at The Child Psychology Service. She works with children and young people experiencing a variety of emotional, behavioural, social and mental health difficulties and specialises in work with children in care and adopted children. She lives in Staffordshire, UK.


'Amber Elliott has ... provided us with an approach to parenting children which is likely to benefit all children whether secure or insecure. It is time our ideas about parenting our children were based as much on connecting emotionally with them as managing the behaviours that are so often an expression of this emotional experience. This book will move us in this direction.' - From the Foreword by Kim S. Golding, Clinical Psychologist, UK

'Why Can't My Child Behave? by Dr Amber Elliot is an insightful resource designed to empower foster and adoptive families to help children become successful. Behavioural issues are omnipresent among foster children who enter care. Dr Elliot presents effective strategies on how to develop empathy for children struggling to fit into a world that can appear very confusing. The book will help reduce stress and is a must buy!' - Dr. Sue Cornbluth, Psychologist, National Expert in Foster Care/Adoption and Trauma, USA

Why Can't My Child Behave? Empathic Parenting Strategies that Work for Adoptive and Foster Families

Author: Amber Elliott

$30.99 Add to Cart

Customers who Purchased this item also purchased

  • Healing Trauma: Attachment, Mind, Body and Brain

    Healing Trauma: Attachment, Mind, Body and Brain

    by Edited by Marion F Solomon and

    Born out of the excitement of a convergence of ideas and passions, this book provides a synthesis of the work of researchers, clinicians, and theoreticians who are leaders in the field of trauma, attachment, and psychotherapy. As we move into the third millennium, the field of mental health is in an exciting position to bring together diverse ideas from a range of disciplines that illuminate our understanding of human experience: neurobiology, developmental psychology, traumatology, and systems theory. The contributors emphasize the ways in which the social environment, including relationships of... More info

    $75.95 Add to Cart
  • Therapeutic Journal Writing: An Introduction for Professionals

    Therapeutic Journal Writing: An Introduction for Professionals

    by Kate Thompson

    Writing a journal is not just about keeping a record of daily events - journal writing provides a unique therapeutic opportunity for facilitating healing and growth. This book guides the reader through developing journal writing to use as a therapeutic tool. Keeping a journal can help the writer to develop a better understanding of themselves, their relationships and the world around them, as well as improve skills of problem-solving, decision-making and planning. As such, journal writing can be a powerful complement to verbal therapy, offering an effective and affordable way... More info

    $38.99 Add to Cart
  • Attachment-Focused Family Therapy

    Attachment-Focused Family Therapy

    by Dan Hughes

    Over fifty years ago, John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth's research on the developmental psychology of children formed the basic tenets of attachment theory. And for years, following these tenets, the theory's focus has been on how children develop vis-à-vis the attachments-whether secure or insecure-they form with their caregivers. In the therapy room, this has meant working with individuals one-on-one, with the therapist assuming the role of the attachment figure in order to provide a secure base for treating clients' problems that arose from troubled interpersonal relationships in childhood. Here, Daniel A. Hughes,... More info

    $55.95 Add to Cart